Bat Skit

Written By Matthew Rings

CAST:

Mayor:

Sasquash:

General Lee:

Catwoman:

Batman:

Robin:

 

ACT I

 

[Open] Mayor sitting at desk doing Mayor stuff.

In runs Sasquash snatches up Mayor and runs out.

Lights go out

 

Bat signal shines around the room and Bat music comes on [TV Greatest Hits #38]

 

Lights come on and In run Batman and Robin Heroically

 

B: “What is it General Lee?”

G: “Batman it’s horrible! They mayor has been mayor-napped by some horrible villain.

R: “Holy missing Mayors Batman”

B: “Did you find any clues General Lee?”

G: “Only this hair”

R: “Holy hairballs Batman!”

G: “Batman, don’t you get cold wearing those skimpy tights?”

B: “Naturally you didn’t know I was wearing my special thermal Bat Long underwear.

G:  “Oh, right. Anyway,

W: “Meow

R: “Who are you?”

W: “I’m Catwoman.”

B: “What have you done with the Mayor?

W: “Silly Batman I didn’t take the mayor.  I came here to get a closer look at Batman and General Lee.

G: “Well, I am a 3 and1/2 star General”.

B:  “I got a really cool motorcycle.”

R: “Batman what about the mayor.”

B: Right… To the Fatmobile let’s go.

W: I’ll see you boys later

[fade in bat music]

[Batman and Robin run out]

 

ACT II

 

[Sasquash comes in dragging the mayor tied to a chair]

[Sasquash sits grunting and eating something and giggling]

 

[Bat Theme comes on and in Run Batman and Robin]

 

R: Holy Hair balls Batman who what is that?!

 

B: Robin that is the evil villain Sasquash or Big Foot as some call it.

R: What are we going to do Batman?

B: Robin there is only one thing we can do now and that is to beam him in the forehead with my bat Sasquash Forehead beamer that I happen to have attached to my wrist.

S: not so fast Batman! [Sasquash stands up and pull out his Sasquash Super Soaker shrinker Shooter] One false move and the mayor gets it.

B: Robin I must save the mayor.

R: Batman , No!

[Batman runs toward the mayor, as Sasquash spays Batman with water. Batman says “Doat” screams and runs out .

R: You big meany

[Robin runs out after Batman and comes back in a few seconds later with my Daughter dressed in Batman suit]

R: I’ll get you for this. We’ll be back when this wears off.

[Robin exits to music with mini Batman]

 

 

ACT III

 

 

[Sasquash and mayor are sitting in cave again when bat Theme comes on and in come the dynamic duo]

 

B: Ah-ha thought you could escape so easily did you.  Well this time you won’t be so lucky.

[ Batman pulls out both weapons as does Sasquash]

R: Wait there must be another way to solve this.

[Enter Catwoman]

W: There is.  A dual.

R: what kind of dual do you mean?

W: A dual of skill and talent. Where the best weirdo wins. Who ever can shine the most light out there nose the fastest wins.

R: That’s got to be the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.

B: No, Robin she’s right. That is the fairest way to end this stand off.  Sasquash let’s do this. I’m going to kick some hairy  butt.

[lights go out music comes on for dueling bangos each character has flashlight up nose. Sasquash can’t keep up at the end and Batman Wins.

Robin releases the mayor Catwoman and General Lee cheer triumphantly as they all run off stage to the bat Theme.