CELEBIRTY JEOPARDY
By Matthew Rings and ½
Stolen From SNL
(we
used the actual chief of police from our town, if you can get a principal or
someone like that it would be great. The other characters are Dr Evil from
Austin Powers and the Saturday Night Live Cheerleaders worked together as one.)
If you want to steal an overhead game board for this skit click
here.
WELCOME
TO CELEBIRTY JEOPARDY. ONCE AGAIN I’M GOING TO RECOMMEND TO OUR VIEWERS TO
WATCH SOMETHING ELSE… THAT BEEN SAID LET’S TAKE A LOOK AT THE SCORES.
CHIEF
OF POLICE ___________________ IS IN FIRST PLACE WITH 0
J:
I’M GONNA BREAK YOU IN HALF TRABEC!
T:
FANTASTIC
T:
DR EVIL
D:
I AM GOING TO WIN 1 MILLION DOLLARS!! MOOHOOHAHA(PINKY)
T:
RIIIIGHT
AND FINALLY WITH $-12,000 THE NEWBERRY HIGH CHEERLEADER-WANNA-BEES
C:WHOA
GO WHOA YEAH!!!!
AND
NOW IT’S TIME FOR DOUBLE JEOPARDY
T:
CHIEF SINCE YOU ARE IN THE LEAD YOU GET TO PICK THE CATEGORY.
J:
I’LL TAKE FAMOUS TITLES FOR $400
T:
AND THE ANSWER IS “THIS FAMOUS MOVIE TITLE IS TAKE FROM THE NAME OF THE BOOK
‘GONE WITH THE WIND’.”
DING
T: DR EVIL
D:
WHAT IS SCREAM 5. I’LL TAKE PONIES FOR
1 MILLION
T:
THAT’S NOT THE RIGHT ANSWER
D:
COME ON THROW ME A FRICKIN BONE HERE
DING
T:
CHEERPEOPLE
C:
JOCK JAMS
T:
WRONG AGAIN
DING
T: CHIEF SWINDLER
J: I GOT IT IT’S RIGHT UP HERE… I KNOW IT, IT’S RIGHT UP HERE, I GOT IT… I GOT DING
T: YOU DON’T GOT IT
J: NO YOU DON’T GOT IT… GET IT!!!
T: WONDERFUL. THE ANSWER IS GONE WITH THE WIND… GONE WITH THE WIND.
ALL RIGHT DR EVIL THE BOARD IS YOURS. I’LL PICK A CATEGORY FOR YOU. HOW ABOUT THE NUMBER 10 FOR $200. THE CORRECT RESPONSE TO EVERY QUESTION IN THIS CATEGORY IS 10. WHEN I STOP TALKING JUST SAY 10. OKAY LET’S GIVE IT A SHOT. THIS IS HOW MANY FINGURES YOU HAVE.
DING
C: 5
T: NO
D: THIS ONE TIME ME AND MY HINCHMEN WERE OUT BEATING PEOPLE UP AND
DING DING
T: SORRY TIMES UP. THE ANSWER WAS 10. YOU HAVE 10 FINGURES.
J: I’LL SHOW YOU A FINGER TRABEC! (HOLDS UP THUMB)
(ROLLING EYES) T: WRONG AGAIN DIM WIT THAT IS A THUMB!
MOVING ON…
T: ALLRIGHTY THEN… CHEER-WANNA-BEES YOUR TURN TO PICK A CATEGORY.
C: WELL TAKE ANIMAL SOUND FOR $600
T:THIS IS THE SOUND A
DOGGY MAKES
DING
T: CHIEF SWINDLER
J: MOO
T: NO
DING
T: DR EVIL
D: WHO IS AH… SCOOBY DOO
T: NO
D: YAH THAT WAS A FUNNY DOG SCOOBY DOO. HE DROVE AROUND IN A VAN AND SOLVED MYSTERIES.
T: THAT IS INCORRECT
D: NO THAT’S CORRECT. I REMEMBER HE HAD A FRIEND SCRAPPY. I’LL TAKE THE VOWLES FOR 1 MILLION
T: WHAT’S GOING ON…OKAY LET’S JUST MOVE ON TO FINAL JEOPARDY. THE CATEGORY IS… YA KNOW WHAT, FORGET IT. JUST WRITE DOWN WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW
(CUE MUSIC)
IT COULD BE NEWBERRY, OR A GAME SHOW, OR EARTH, OR THE WORD HERE.
OKAY LET’S GET THIS OVER WITH
CHEERLEADERS YOU WROTE DOWN:
GO
AND YOU WAGERED : FOR IT
T: I FEEL LIKE I WANT TO PUNCH YOU.
DR EVIL YOU WROTE DOWN:
CHHH
AND HE WAGERED: ZIP IT
T: BAD BOY BAD BOY WHAT CHA GONNA DO SWINDLOR WROTE DOWN:
IN DOORS!
GOOD LORD ARE WE RECORDING THIS (LOOKING AROUND)
AND YOU WAGERED: I
HEART BOOTS
WELL THAT’S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FOR TODAY. I’M GOING HOME AND PUTTING BAMBOO SHOOTS UNDER MY FINGER NAILS.