Batman Skit w/Joker

CAST:

Mayor:

Sasquash:

Commissioner
Gordon: 

Joker:

Batman:

Robin:

ACT I

 

[Open] Mayor sitting at desk doing
Mayor stuff.

In runs Sasquash snatches up Mayor
and runs out.

Lights go out

Bat signal shines around the room
and Bat music comes on [TV Greatest Hits #38]

Lights come on and In run Batman
and Robin Heroically

B: “What is it Commissioner Gordon?”

G: “Batman it’s horrible! They
mayor has been mayor-napped by some horrible villain.

R: “Holy missing Mayors Batman”

B: “Did you find any clues Commissioner
Gordon?”

G: “Only this hair”

R: “Holy hairballs Batman!”

G: “Batman, don’t you get cold
wearing those skimpy tights?”

B: “Naturally you didn’t know I was
wearing my special thermal Bat Long underwear.

G: 

“Oh, right. Anyway,

J: “Ha – he he ha ha And I thought
my jokes were bad

R: “Who are you?”

J: “Here’s my card My Friends call
me the Joker.”

B: “What have you done with the
Mayor?

J: “Silly Batman I didn’t take the
mayor, do I look like a guy with a plan? I’m just a dog chasing cars.

G: Nice try Joker, but we know your
behind this  

R: Yeah, Freak what did you do with the Mayor

J: Look, say I know where your
mayor was. If I gave him back would you get all these annoying middle school
kids off my camp property.

B: Maybe something can be arranged,
but first we get our Mayor back.

(Batman goes for the Joker, Joker
reveals time bomb,

J: Not so fast Batboy. I’ll be back
tomorrow morning and you all had better be out of here or I’ll blow up your
churches!

(Joker Backs out of room)

R: Holly Sideshow clowns Batman
what are we going to do?

B: Robin we need to get back to the
Batcave to analyze this hair for any clues.

B: To the Batmobile let’s go.

 [fade in bat music]

[Batman and Robin run out]

ACT II

[Sasquash comes in dragging the
mayor tied to a chair]

[Sasquash sits grunting and eating
something and giggling]

[Bat Theme comes on and in Run Batman
and Robin]

R: Holy Hair balls Batman who what
is that?!

B: Robin that is the evil villain
Sasquash or Big Foot as some call it.

R: What are we going to do Batman?

B: Robin there is only one thing we
can do now and that is to beam him in the forehead with my bat Sasquash
Forehead beamer that I happen to have attached to my wrist.

J: not so fast Batman! Sasquatch.
Use your Sasquash Super Soaker Shrinker Shooter on the Bat.

[Sasquash stands up and pull out
his Sasquash Super Soaker shrinker Shooter] One false move and the mayor gets
it.

B: Robin I must save the mayor.

R: Batman , No!

[Batman runs toward the mayor, as
Sasquash spays Batman with water. Batman says “Doat” screams and runs out .

R: You big meany

[Robin runs out after Batman and
comes back in a few seconds later with my baby dressed in Batman suit]

R: I’ll get you for this. We’ll be
back.

J: (looking at crowd) I told you I
wanted you pesky kids off my camp and I’m a man of my word –

J: Ha he he ha let’s go Big feet –
(Big foot grabs mayor) Show them the news feed from CNN (church blow up video)

ACT III

[Sasquash and mayor are sitting in
cave again when bat Theme comes on and in come the dynamic duo]

B: Ah-ha thought you could escape
so easily did you.  Well this time you
won’t be so lucky.

[ Batman pulls out both weapons as
does Sasquash]

R: Wait there must be another way
to solve this.

[Enter Joker]

J: There is.  A dual. Me and the Bat

R: what kind of dual do you mean?

J: A dual of skill and talent.
Where the best weirdo wins. Who ever can shine the most light out there nose
the fastest wins.

R: That’s got to be the craziest
thing I’ve ever heard.

B: No, Robin he’s right. That is the
fairest way to end this stand off.  Let’s
do this Joker.

[lights go out music comes on. Joker
can’t keep up at the end and Batman Wins.

Robin releases the mayor Joker and Commissioner
Gordon cheer triumphantly as they all run off stage to the bat Theme.