CELEBIRTY JEOPARDY SNL Skit

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CELEBIRTY JEOPARDY

Sean
Connery

Barney
Fife

Sarah
Palin

Alex
Trebek

(Slide
show begins and music, we all enter and take places)

Trebek:
WELCOME TO CELEBIRTY JEOPARDY. ONCE AGAIN I’M GOING TO RECOMMEND TO OUR VIEWERS
TO WATCH SOMETHING ELSE… THAT Said, let get this over with.

Deputy Barney Fife IS IN FIRST PLACE WITH $-8000

Barney: Alex, I’m tellin ya, I’m gonna Nip this thing in the
bud!

Trebek: Next we have Gov Sarah Palin

Sarah: That’s right, you betcha (wink, check click, point)

T: RIIIIGHT. AND FINALLY WITH $-120,000
Sean Connery

Sean Connery:
You’ll Rue the day you crossed me TReBEk! You can’t make me pay that!

Trebek: FANTASTIC. Once again I’ll remind you all you are
playing for charity and you don’t have to pay anything!

Trebek: Our categories are The Number 10, Foods that end in “amburger”, Famous Titles, Batman
or Robin, and Animal Sounds

T: Mr Connery SINCE YOU ARE in Last place YOU GET TO PICK
THE CATEGORY.

Sean: I’LL TAKE FAMOUS TITLES FOR $400

T: AND THE ANSWER IS “THIS FAMOUS MOVIE TITLE IS TAKEN FROM
tHE NAME OF THE BOOK ‘GONE WITH THE WIND’.”

DING

T: Barney Fife

Barney: WHAT IS Rocky 12.
I’LL TAKE foods that end in Amburger FOR 1 MILLION

Trebek: THAT’S NOT THE RIGHT ANSWER

Barney: ____________

DING

Trebek: Mrs Palin

Sarah: Who is Russia?

T: WRONG AGAIN

Sarah: No seriously who are they? I keep hearing about them
and I can see them from my back yard, but who are they anyways??

DING

Trebek: Okay. Mr Connery.
Sean: [ laughs ] Yeah, what do ya want?
Alex Trebek: You buzzed in!
Sean: No I didn’t.
Alex: Yes you did!
Sean: Yeah, well, that’s your opinion.
Alex Trebek: I hate my job. The answer was GONE WITH THE WIND… GONE WITH
tHE WIND.

Sean: You wouldn’t be so smart if you didn’t have those
cards to read from Trebek

Trebek: Fine,
it’s your board Mrs. Palin.
Sarah: Oh yeah you betcha Alex I’m like a Pit-bull
with lipstick on so I’ll take ‘Batman or Robin’ for 400.

Trebek: (shakes head) And the
answer is…(board shows picture of Batman, clearly) Is this Batman, or Robin?

Ding

Trebek: Mr Fife

Barney: I’m gonna nip this one
in the bud. I know this one! That’s Robin!

Alex Trebek: No. So since it’s
not Robin, that leaves only one correct answer.

Ding

Trebek: Mrs. Palin
Sarah: WHO is Robin?
Alex Trebek: Amazing. Sean
Connery.
Sean Connery: WHAT is Robin? Now
then, I’ll take “Batman or Robin” for 800.
Alex Trebek: No, that’s the wrong!

Trebek: ALL RIGHT Barney
THE BOARD IS YOURS. I’LL PICK A CATEGORY FOR YOU. HOW ABOUT THE NUMBER 10 FOR
$200. THE CORRECT RESPONSE TO EVERY
QUESTION IN THIS CATEGORY IS 10. WHEN I
STOP TALKING JUST SAY 10. OKAY LET’S
GIVE IT A SHOT. THIS IS HOW MANY
fingers YOU HAVE.

DING

Barney: 1

Trebek: NO

Barney: that’s the # of bullets Andy gave me. See (pulls
bullet from pocket) See cause in Mayberry we have a lot of criminals that are
afraid of me just by my reputation…

DING DING Ding

T: SORRY TIMES UP. THE ANSWER WAS 10. YOU HAVE 10 FINGERS.

MOVING ON…

T: ALLRIGHTY THEN… Mr Connery YOUR TURN TO PICK A CATEGORY.

C: I’LL TAKE ANIMAL SOUND FOR $600

T: THIS IS THE SOUND
A DOGGY MAKES

DING

T: Shawn Connery

007: MOO

T: NO

DING

T: Mrs. Palin

Sarah: WHO IS AH… SCOOBY DOO

T: NO

Sarah: YAH THAT WAS A FUNNY DOG SCOOBY DOO. HE DROVE AROUND
IN A VAN AND SOLVED MYSTERIES.

T: THAT IS INCORRECT

Barney: NO THAT’S CORRECT. I REMEMBER HE HAD A FRIEND
SCRAPPY.

Trebek: WHAT’S GOING ON…What’s wrong with you people?! OKAY
LET’S JUST MOVE ON TO FINAL JEOPARDY.
THE CATEGORY IS… YA KNOW WHAT, FORGET IT. JUST WRITE DOWN WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW

(CUE MUSIC)

IT COULD BE St
Andrews, OR A GAME
SHOW, OR EARTH, OR THE WORD HERE.

OKAY LET’S GET THIS OVER WITH

Deputy Fife YOU WROTE DOWN:

Nip it

AND YOU WAGERED: In the Bud

T: I FEEL LIKE I WANT TO PUNCH YOU.

Mrs. Palin: YOU WROTE DOWN:

Russia

AND SHE WAGERED: Wink

T: Mr Bond, you wrote down… Indoors. Indoors!

GOOD googley moogley ARE WE RECORDING THIS (LOOKING AROUND)

AND YOU WAGERED: I
HEART BOOTS

WELL THAT’S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FOR TODAY. I’M GOING HOME AND slamming my head in the
refrigerator door.

CUE MUSIC