Act I

(cue Star Wars Theme)

[Luke walks in and sits on couch eatin’ moon pie drinking RC cola. It is empty so he shouts for a new one]

[if !supportEmptyParas] [endif]

L: hey furball get me another RC!

C: uggh (mad)

[if !supportEmptyParas] [endif]

[RC cola can ripped to shreds is thrown in from off stage]

[if !supportEmptyParas] [endif]

C: uggh (mad)

[if !supportEmptyParas] [endif]

[Chewbacca enters holding a RC cola he walks up to Luke and squeezes the can as it explodes all over Luke]

[if !supportEmptyParas] [endif]

L: I can’t take this any more!

[if !supportEmptyParas] [endif]

[Leia enters]

[if !supportEmptyParas] [endif]

LE: Luke, calm down. I know living in this small millennium camper down by the river together for the last 20 years has been stressful.  But what else can we do?!

L: If we don’t get a role in the new star wars film I am going to go insane!

C: uggh (I agree)

LE: yeah, but how?

L: I don’t know, but there has got to be a way! Maybe we should ask Yoda.

L: R2D2 get me.. R2 where are you? 

{have R2 covered up with a NASCAR blanket or dirty clothes}

R2: beep, beep

L: R2 get out of there and get me Yoda on the satellite link up.

R2: beep

[if !supportEmptyParas] [endif]

[screen comes on and dialogue w/ Yoda begins] {Shoot video clip of Yoda action figure or puppet for this sequence. (Email me if you want to just send me a tape and I will copy what we did for you (all 3 video sequences, all you have to pay for is shipping) Then actors dialogue with TV ]

[if !supportEmptyParas] [endif]

Y: oh hello young master Luke

L: Hello master Yoda

Y: I see you still are having problems w/ that wookie friend of yours.

C: ugh (that’s right)

L: Yeah, anyway, Yoda you gotta help us get a role in the new star wars film.

Y: umm I see… well there might be a way.

L: How?

LE: Please tell us Yoda, we’re dying here.

Y: Well, George is having some trouble with a hostile take over of his movie studios.

L: yeah, go on!

Y: perhaps if you were to find out who is behind the take over and stop his evil plans.  Then maybe George will cast you in his new movie.

L: All right

LE: yes

C: ugh

R2:beep

L: thanks Yoda

Y: no problem

L: Come on ya’ll we’ve got to find out who’s behind this to get our lives back.

(cue Star Wars Theme)

[exit stage left even]

[if !supportEmptyParas] [endif]

[if !supportEmptyParas] [endif]

Act II

(cue Star Wars Theme)

[scene opens with whole group sitting on couch.  Opening the lid on R2 to get out an RC]

[if !supportEmptyParas] [endif]

L:    R2 pull up a list of all the Evil villains that got out of prison in the last year.

R2:  beep,beep,beep

LE:  Yeah, and cross reference those with people who have the word Evil anywhere in there name.

R2:   Beep, Beep

L:  [opens R2’s lid again and pulls out a picture of Darth Vader with the words Mr. Evil written across the top] 

    Man this Mr. Evil is ugly… but he looks really familiar???

C:    uggh (you moron)

L: R2 where can we find this guy?

R2:  beep, beep

L:  Wow R2 you mean to tell me you can get him on the live Villain Cam for me!!!

R2:  Beep, Beep

[if !supportEmptyParas] [endif]

 [endif]

MR:  what do you want , can’t you see I’m Busy!

L:      Yeah, uh, well, we were just wondering if you would be interested in a free make over?

MR:    MAKE OVER!?  Look buddy if you’re selling crazy we’re all full here, so beat it!

LE:     No, no really Mr. Evil sir, we just want to give you a free make over.

MR:    You’re not trying to get me to use one of those 10-10 numbers are you?

L:      NO SIR

LE:    NOOOO

C:      uggh

R2:    Beeeeep

MR:   {pauses a minute} Well… I guess that will be okay I’ll come by next (whatever night you have club) How’s that?

L:     That’ll be fantastic.

[TV fades to static and then off]

L:   {Luke begins to tell the others of the plan as they walk off] Okay, here’s the plan.  When he gets here next week, Chewbacca you…. (cue Star Wars Theme)

[if !supportEmptyParas] [endif]

Act III

[if !supportEmptyParas] [endif]

Scene opens with a chair set up in the middle for Mr. Evil’s make over.

(cue Star Wars Theme)

[everyone walks in]

[if !supportEmptyParas] [endif]

L:   Okay, you all know what to do right?

LE:  yeah, yeah

C:  uggh

R2: beep

L:  shh here he comes

[Mr. Evil enters cue Imperial March music]

[if !supportEmptyParas] [endif]

MR:  I’m here for my free make over.

LE:   Right this way MR Evil

LE:   Oh boys could you come help with Mr. Evil’s Makeover.

[L & C  enter and tie him up to the chair with duct tape or whatever]

MR: hey what’s going on here!!?

L:   [taking a deep breath and saying micro-machine-style] We are here to thwart your efforts to overthrow Lucas Arts Studios so we can have our jobs back and be in the new Star Wars movie!!

MR:  curses! If it weren’t for you medalling kids and your dog… that is a dog right? ( pointing to Chewbacca) I would have gotten away with my “Evil” plans

L:   Now tell us who you really are “MR Evil” or I will have to use my light saber on you!

MR:  Please that thing is so old and rusted you probably couldn’t even cut through a tomato and then a shoe smoothly. (Gensu)  Okay, My name isn’t Mr. Evil.

L:  haa, I knew it!

Mr.:  It’s just me Darth Vader

LE:  I knew he looked familiar

C:  uggggggh (You people are stupid)

L:  But why were you trying to destroy Lucas Studios?

Mr.:  the same reason you captured me.  I haven’t had a part in a movie since Star Wars.

LE:  Yeah, but that’s no reason to be so Evil.

L:  R2 get me George Lucas on the Celebrity Cam

R2:  beep

[what we did here was take the video footage from the re-release of star wars at the beginning where they had an interview with Lucas.  We simple recorded the video footage w/o audio then used a mic to dub in our own lines like a kung foo movie]

[if !supportEmptyParas] [endif]

G: Ah I see you kids were able to capture the villain

LE,L,C: yeah

G well you saved my studio, so I guess you can be in my new movie. Come on over to the studios.

LE,L,C,R2: {celebrating} (cue Star Wars Theme) everybody exits stage left